Safe Mode: Navigating Survival, Sobriety, and Self-Worth in Challenging Relationships

 In this episode of Absolutely Focused Radio, host Daniel Thabudd Nelson explores the concept of 'Safe Mode' as a powerful tool for navigating challenging relationships while maintaining sobriety, self-worth, and mental clarity. Daniel shares practical tips for setting healthy emotional boundaries, reducing stress, and focusing on personal growth. Perfect for listeners looking to protect their peace and embrace resilience in difficult environments. Tune in for actionable insights and empowering strategies to thrive, even in the toughest situations. 

Chapters

• 0:04 Navigating Relationships
• 10:12 Finding Strength and Resilience

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Good day and blessings everyone. Welcome to Absolutely Focused Radio, the place where we get real about sobriety, self-care and navigating the twists and turns of challenging relationships. I'm your host, daniel Dabud Nelsen, and today we're talking about what it means to stay in safe mode, not just for your sanity, but to protect your sobriety, your peace and your self-worth. For me, this topic hits close to home. I know what it's like to face these challenges and work through them one step at a time, and that's why I'm here and work through them One step at a time, and that's why I'm here To share insights that help me and might help you too. Now, safe mode might sound like a computer term, but in life, it's a powerful mindset. When things get tough, especially in relationships that push our emotional boundaries, safe mode is how we reduce risk, preserve our energy and focus on what matters. We're diving deep today into what safe mode means, why it's necessary and how you can use it to keep yourself steady and strong. So let's get into it. Alright, so let's break down safe mode. Just like a computer goes into safe mode when it's under stress, we sometimes need to do the same thing in life. Safe mode is when you strip everything down to the essentials your mental health, your sobriety, your sense of self. It's not about escaping. It's about preserving. Imagine you're in a relationship with someone who drains your energy, where you're always questioning yourself, walking on eggshells and feeling like nothing you do is quite enough. That kind of environment is rough, especially if you're working to stay sober. Survival mode becomes more than just a way to cope. It's a way to protect yourself from burnout. And let's get one thing clear Choosing safe mode isn't weakness. It's about putting yourself first, focusing only on what keeps you steady, what keeps you sane. This is where the journey of sobriety and self-preservation really begins, in safe mode.

Speaker 1: 2:44

We're talking about navigating what I'll call shadow behaviors. These are subtle but powerful actions that can pull you into survival mode. Things like passive aggression, consistent criticism or making you feel like you're always the one at fault. These behaviors keep you feeling small, off balance and doubtful of your own reality. When you're exposed to these kind of behaviors, you're constantly on alert, scanning for signs that you need to defend yourself. Studies show that people exposed to chronic relationship stress have significantly higher cortisol levels, a stress hormone. Elevated cortisol is linked to increased cravings, making sobriety harder to maintain. According to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism relationship, stress is one of the top cause of relapse, with around 40 to 60% of people in recovery experiencing relapse due to stress.

Speaker 1: 4:14

So when you're in survival mode, your goal is to reduce the constant threat. Think of it like setting up a firewall on your computer to block out threat. You protect your system from anything that could harm it. Let's talk about how to activate the safe mode for yourself. If you're in a challenging relationship and working to stay sober, protecting your mental health becomes priority number one. You're not in this to thrive just yet. You're here to survive, to keep yourself steady. Safe mode is all about limiting what comes in so you can protect what matters.

Speaker 1: 5:04

First, set emotional boundary. If the shadow starts an argument, pulls you into their drama or uses passive aggression to get a reaction, it's OK to step back. You don't have to engage with every provocation. You don't have to engage with every provocation Politely but firmly. Keep interactions short and avoid letting their actions disrupt your peace. Running only the essential programs this is like telling your computer to run only the essential programs. No extra energy on things that don't deserve you. Second, trust your own reality. If you're with someone who makes you doubt yourself. Keep a journal. Write down conversations, moments that stand out and your emotions. This is your reality. Check your system log to help you remember your truth when you feel like you're losing it. Self-doubt can pull you off course in sobriety, so grounding yourself in what's true for you is essential, and if you're listening right now and this resonates, take a moment to jot down your thoughts or share this episode with a friend who might need it. Building this awareness together makes us all stronger.

Speaker 1: 6:44

All right now let's get a little tech savvy with some practical tips to help you stay in safe mode, especially when things feel overwhelming. Think of these as your own personal toolkit for mental health and sobriety. First up, these are your mental health monitors. Apps like I Am Sober or Sober Time let you set goals, track your progress and see those milestones. They're also a great way to connect with others, so don't feel like you're in this alone. If meditation or mindfulness helps you stay grounded, apps like Calm and Insight Timer can guide you through stress-reducing practices.

Speaker 1: 7:42

Next, set up boundaries. Use your phone to create specific times for communication or blocks distracting content. Apps like Focus at Will or Freedom can help you limit exposure to social media or other triggers so you can focus on what's essential. Treat it like digital detox for your mental health, helping you avoid any emotional overloading. And don't forget about journaling. And don't forget about journaling. Digital apps like Day One or even a simple notes app can serve you as your debug log Document what's happening, your reactions and your progress. This creates a record of your experiences, something you can go back to if you ever start doubting yourself or need a reminder on how far you've come.

Speaker 1: 9:00

If you're feeling isolated, don't hesitate to connect with sober communities, friends or even professionals. Safe mode is about preserving yourself, but there's power in seeking support to make that journey even stronger. So, as we wrap up today's episode, let's bring it all together. Safe mode is a form of strength when you're in a relationship that drains you or challenges your sobriety, your peace, your sanity and your sobriety. And remember, choosing safe mode isn't about giving up on the relationship or losing hope. It's about creating a controlled, protective environment so you can maintain your footing. It's about giving yourself permission to reduce stress and preserve energy so that, when you are ready, you can take the next step forward. So that, when you are ready, you can take the next step forward.

Speaker 1: 10:12

Thanks so much for joining me on Absolutely Focused Radio today. If you're finding value in these conversations, make sure to subscribe, share or leave a review. You never know who else might need to hear this message, who might be in survival mode and need that extra bit of encouragement. Before we end, let's take a moment to pause, take a deep breath. Picture yourself standing strong, grounded and focused. You're resilient. Standing strong, grounded and focused, you're resilient. You're worthy of peace and you're capable of moving forward with clarity. Remember this strength as you move through your day. I'm Daniel Dabud Nelson and I'll catch you next time.